“Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is growing up. In 'The Colour… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
