Jackasses Quotes by Nick Offerman

I worked a lot in Chicago's theater scene as a fight choreographer. And so I do have a lot of experience in stage combat…

— Nick Offerman

I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed…

— Nick Offerman

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I…

— Nick Offerman

“Of course, my fundamentals may not work for everyone. A beautiful aspect of the human race is our endless variety. Like maple leaves and…

— Nick Offerman

“Whatever the adversity, if a man is on hand to provide ease to a lady’s cause, I think he’s a shitheel if he stands…

— Nick Offerman

If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day.

— Nick Offerman

I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.

— Nick Offerman

I think that purity creates not only a higher level of artistic vision but a purer work ethic.

— Nick Offerman

Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly.…

— Nick Offerman

My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that…

— Nick Offerman

A lot of people find themselves in the entertainment business - or perhaps society steers them toward it - because they're beautiful.

— Nick Offerman

You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and…

— Nick Offerman