Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something! — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve? — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don't think that's extraordinary. I'm a normal… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
Let's just say I can never be cast again after Ron Swanson. Then I have a life of theater and woodworking and… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
If you always have something in your life that you're trying to improve upon, then every day you have a reason to… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“If there is a God, no part of the Bible or Christian doctrine will convince me of his existence half as much… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“It may seem a little obvious that Megan would feel that in her music or that I would feel it in woodworking,… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“Of course, my fundamentals may not work for everyone. A beautiful aspect of the human race is our endless variety. Like maple… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
How lucky my life is that I have two arms, and two legs, and ten fingers with which to make things out… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I don't get nominated, and I have to say, I've probably gotten the greatest mass of press in my life through not… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I always drastically changed my look for each role. It's gotten a little tedious in real life, also, because there's no hiding. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I worked a lot in Chicago's theater scene as a fight choreographer. And so I do have a lot of experience in stage combat… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“Of course, my fundamentals may not work for everyone. A beautiful aspect of the human race is our endless variety. Like maple leaves and… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“Whatever the adversity, if a man is on hand to provide ease to a lady’s cause, I think he’s a shitheel if he stands… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I think that purity creates not only a higher level of artistic vision but a purer work ethic. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly.… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
A lot of people find themselves in the entertainment business - or perhaps society steers them toward it - because they're beautiful. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
