You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
We're vulnerable to repeating history, especially if we don't know what's driving us. For example, it may be a family tradition to… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
We'll always be disappointed if we believe that we can plan for a peak experience and make it happen. True joy can't… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
If you're married to an entrenched non-apologizer, it won't help to doggedly demand one. Some folks lack the self-esteem required to take… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.” — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
