Addiction Quote by Harriet Lerner
“We're vulnerable to repeating history, especially if we don't know what's driving us. For example, it may be a family tradition to marry someone with addiction problems, or who is an injured bird in need of caretaking. Or, you may be drawn to guys who remind you of your distant, unavailable father -- or your ill-tempered mother -- with the unconscious belief that you can take an old story, and through the power of your love, give it a new, happy ending.”
About This Quote
Source Book: “The Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner, 1985
Repeating harmful patterns often stems from unconscious family dynamics; recognizing them allows us to break the cycle.
In simple terms: Unconscious family habits repeat harmful behavior.
Key Takeaway
Identify and change inherited patterns.
Themes
family dynamics
repetition
psychological patterns
Mood
reflective
empathetic
Type
psychological
self‑help
When to use this quote
- therapy
- personal relationships
- parenting
Key Concepts
attachment theory
generational trauma
self-awareness
Questions to Reflect On
- What family stories influence your choices?
- How can you rewrite those narratives?
A Different Perspective
Changing deep‑seated beliefs can be painful and resistant.
![“There is no neediness in desire ... there is no caretaking in desire. Caretaking is mightily loving, [but] it's a powerful anti-aphrodisiac.” quote by Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b43/esther-perel-3265_aphrodisiac_there-is-no-neediness-in-desire-there-is_1628781.jpg)
![“Not only do our wives need support, but our children need our deep involvement in their lives. If this period [the early years] ofprimitive needs and primitive caretaking passes without us, it is lost forever. We can be involved in other ways, but never again on this profoundly intimate level.” quote by Augustus Napier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/3a2/augustus-napier-54501_caretaking_not-only-do-our-wives-need-support-but-o_2399582.jpg){kind=icon}
