Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel! — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps. And there… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin' weird ones.” — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“If you are an LGBT+ person and you come out, you have to go through your knight’s quest to create ground for yourself, to… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't! — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
