Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“THANKSGIVING DAY. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In religion, India is the only millionaire... the One land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
That is their way, those plagues, those scientists - peg, peg, peg - dig, dig, dig - plod, plod, plod. I wish… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am dead to adverbs; they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A marriage...makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
