Big Poppa Pump is your hook up, and the next heavyweight championship of the world! — Scott Steiner Copy Share Image
I have always had this outrage at being told what to, how to act, whom to love. — Martina Navratilova Copy Share Image
My penis should make me breakfast on morning. It is always up before I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God had to do something IN me before He could do something THROUGH me. — Craig Groeschel Copy Share Image
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
For the third time this week, I saw my girlfriend with another man. To be fair, we've never met and she doesn't… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Love is not about expressing lovely words its about understanding a gentle touch Of pure heart !! And Friendship is to sit… — Kshitij Roshan Copy Share Image
I love everyone some people I like to be aroung,some people I'd like to kiss, some people I'd like to punch,and I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are no gatekeepers in children's literature. There are children who like what you write because it's funny. — David Baddiel Copy Share Image
I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest. I don't know, I grew… — Jenny McCarthy Copy Share Image
I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
One of the great regrets in my life is that I suffered so many assholes so gladly for so many years, all… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I'll be spending Sunday nights watching Mad Men and Monday mornings irrationally accusing you of having an affair. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you descend into somebody else's private hell and stand there with them, it ceases to be hell. — Mychal Judge Copy Share Image
Once they call you a Latin Lover, you're in real trouble. Women expect an Oscar performance in bed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Amazing Love! how can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me? — Charles Wesley Copy Share Image
The question isn't 'Do we worship?' The question is 'Who (or what) do we worship?' — Pete Wilson Copy Share Image
Women are the holders of all knowledge, everything a man knows he stole from a woman. — Bill Mollison Copy Share Image
Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Maybe the greatest madness is to see life as it is rather than what it could be. — Miguel de Cervantes Copy Share Image
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. — Casey Stengel Copy Share Image
I must have been really pissed when I drove home last night. We don't own a tractor. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If I hurt your feelings in any way I just want you to know from the bottom of my heart that I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never said I wanted to be perfect, I just want to be good enough for you. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering. — Marilyn vos Savant Copy Share Image
Why can't the Morning News ever say 'Today has been canceled...go back to sleep.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” — Anatole France Copy Share Image
There are very few words to sum you up and they are... Funny, Smart Amazing, Adorable… and Mine... I love you — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm sorry my recent absence from work caused you to have to do your own work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Meth addicts will never understand how hard it is to withdraw from Breaking Bad. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think the most impressive thing about the activity tab on twitter is that I never use it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
