I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water. I'd drink it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you’re taught you can't do anything you won't do anything, I was taught I could do everything — Kanye West Copy Share Image
No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Well anyways sorry y'all for all the pictures haah for the Poeple who got annoyed Ok let the quoting begin ^,^ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Sweet Jesus! Sweet, sweet Jesus!” Mom called to the Savior, caught up in the divine intervention that was Hank and me. I… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“Agatha - You're somewhat odd. You know that, don't you? Felicia - I'll take that as a compliment. Agatha - It wasn't… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
“She moved to pinch me again but I blocked her hand. I'm no expert on girls, but when one tries to pinch… — Ransom Riggs Copy Share Image
I adored the celebrity 'Bake Offs.' They have a more relaxed atmosphere. They all come on thinking they're not competitive so there's… — Prue Leith Copy Share Image
It recently became apparent to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard. This is… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
F you really want to advise me, do it on Saturday afternoon between 1 and 4 o'clock. And you've got 25 seconds… — Alex Agase Copy Share Image
There's only a handful of people who are just purely, inherently funny, and I'm not one of them. I need content and… — Gary Cole Copy Share Image
Tony Taylor was one of the first acquisitions that the Phillies made when they reconstructed their team. They got him from Philadelphia. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
Life would be much easier if mosquitoes sucked, tension instead of blood — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“Funny how you can measure time by pets that were not even your own.” — Lori Lansens Copy Share Image
I have discovered an astonishing truth. God is attracted to weaknesses. — Jim Cymbala Copy Share Image
It's not what you know anymore that counts, it's how fast you learn — Robert Kiyosaki Copy Share Image
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Dont do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor aint. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
I once dated a girl on the track team. It didn't work out. She kept giving me the runaround. — Scott Roeben Copy Share Image
The people may be made to follow a path of action but they may not be made to understand it. — Confucius Copy Share Image
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
We happen upon ourselves when nothing much happens to us, and we are transformed in the process. — Anthony Lane Copy Share Image
The great question...which I have not been able to answer... is, "What...does a woman want?" — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
You need a good bedside manner with doctors or you will get nowhere. — William S. Burroughs Copy Share Image
I understand the weight of love. As soon as you fall in love she continually starts to get heavier — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had. — Raymond Carver Copy Share Image
I'd say I learned a lot. It's all about whether or not I can apply it. — Stephen Strasburg Copy Share Image
The word ‘no’ is a great time-saver. Say no to anything that is not the highest and best use of your time. — Brian Tracy Copy Share Image
George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!"... well, swine flu. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
