Mission impossible: not eating a french fry on the way home from the drivethru. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The injuries that befall us unexpectedly are less severe than those which are deliberately anticipated. — Marcus Tullius Cicero Copy Share Image
That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened. — John Wayne Copy Share Image
In the vast majority of businesses, there is simply no such thing as ‘the best,’ — Michael Porter Copy Share Image
Why is there a show calledWhen animals attack? It shouldbe called When stupid people go near dangerous animals. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I didn't like where I once was, so I promised myself I wouldn't be back there. — Ray Lewis Copy Share Image
There are three kinds of people. Those who make it happen. Those who watch it happen. And those who don't no what… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You're not just doing that to impress her, are you?" "Everything I do is to impress her. It's my mission in life,"… — Chelsea M. Cameron Copy Share Image
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Beware of ego: Ego is a double edged sword the outer edge cuts your popularity; while the inner edge pierces your purity. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Baseball players practice, runners practice, so how can you practice being funny? You get up onstage. You train as an improviser, playing… — Ali Farahnakian Copy Share Image
In response to how he checked the weather, "I just whip out my blue card with a hole in it and read… — Gordon Baxter Copy Share Image
I have no time to hate peoples who hate me because am too busy in loving peoples who loves me!!!! how about… — Ella B Copy Share Image
“I'm dating three men, living with two more, and having occasional sex with two others. That's seven men. I'm like a pornographic… — Laurell K. Hamilton Copy Share Image
A police officer asked me where I was between 4 and 5? I said kindergarten. — Kayla Knight Copy Share Image
Some would have us believe that God is present everywhere. It is not so — Brigham Young Copy Share Image
A surprise party is a great way to show your wife how awesome you are at lying to her face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dont complain about the snow on your neighbors roof when your own doorstep is unclean. — Confucius Copy Share Image
For all the girls that say ¦.. All guys are the same ¦¦ Who told you to try them ALL. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Diet rule 1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Teachers call it Go to the bathroom. We call it I'm bored,I'm gonna go wander around school. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love to just get in the booth. Put some tracks down. I’m basically Rihanna. — Kate McKinnon Copy Share Image
I don't care if I have a closet full of clothes, there's NOTHING TO WEAR! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A small man can cast a large shadow, especially when a fat man is standing behind him. — MJ McGuire Copy Share Image
Always be nice to people to their face. Then when they turn around, berate the back of their head. — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you. — Parker J. Palmer Copy Share Image
Success is not how much money you have in a bank. Success is how many lives you have touched. — Naveen Jain Copy Share Image
Anything you do has a still point. When you are in that still point, you can perform maximally. — Joseph Campbell Copy Share Image
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Who will be the happiest person? The one who brings happiness to others. — Swami Satchidananda Copy Share Image
I have a very bad relationship with the future. We don't get on. We just ignore each other. — Pete Doherty Copy Share Image
