Every dog has it's day, unless he loses his tail, then he has a weakend. — June Carter Cash Copy Share Image
And he's done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Monday was a girl; it would be that fat girl who likes horses & tells the teacher when you cheat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Does anybody know WHERE CAN I WATCH PRETTY LITTLE LIARS Season 3 ON MY IPAD? (Not on Abc family 'cause it saysi… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What I love about comedy is that we're this group of weirdos, and the only language that matters is, 'Are you funny?'… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
To me, life is like the back nine in golf. Sometimes you play better on the back nine. You may not be… — Clint Eastwood Copy Share Image
My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Was trying to count sheep to help me sleep but I don't think I'll be able to sleep anymore after being chased… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It's funny, when you become an actor and you're successful, they don't want to talk about acting any more. 'Hey let's talk… — Nicholas Brendon Copy Share Image
Sound, sound the clarion, fill the fife, Throughout the sensual world proclaim, One crowded hour of glorious life, Is worth an age… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I'd like to sit down with him and pick his brain, just a tiny bite somewhere in the frontal lobe to get… — Isaac Marion Copy Share Image
Let's just be friends is a nice way of saying Let's ignore each other and never talk..! — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Trust is the most important part of a realtionship. You must be 100% sure that she Won't tell your Wife. — Zhat Copy Share Image
When I die, they'll bury the blues with me. But the blues will never die. — John Lee Hooker Copy Share Image
“I think she fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.” — Lorna Seilstad Copy Share Image
Tending to ourselves, we tend the world. Tending the world, we tend ourselves. — Jack Kornfield Copy Share Image
You go beyond 'I want it. I want to have it' - to - 'I'm going to have it — Marilyn Horne Copy Share Image
There is none of you but will hang me, I know, whenever you can clinch me within your power. — Bartholomew Roberts Copy Share Image
Kelsey Grammer has launched his own website to refute stories about him in the tabloids. — Andy Waits Copy Share Image
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. — Jimmy Durante Copy Share Image
I don't count myself as a fashionista because I do a lot of other things. That's just a small part of my… — Iris Apfel Copy Share Image
I just like working with people that I respect and think are really funny. — Busy Philipps Copy Share Image
What is the fastest thing in the world? Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It was not his habit to dwell on what could have been, but what could never be. — Alan Paton Copy Share Image
I am one of those people who isn’t great at anything, but I’m pretty good at most things. — Tom Ford Copy Share Image
Lol. I'm at a hotel and theres no spoons in the room, so I'm eatingnutella with a straw. -. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you can be not afraid to be laughed at, you could do so many things. — Mark Gonzales Copy Share Image
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A million possible endearments ran through his head. But he said, “Help.” — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
