You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
Oh you got Swag? Don't forget to put that on your Burger King Application. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Shortest Solution Of Every Problem Is To Minimize The Distance Between Your Knee And Floor. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Every once in a while, a cookbook comes along that simply knocks me out. — Ina Garten Copy Share Image
The world makes you something that you’re not - but you know inside what you are. — Geena Rocero Copy Share Image
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In me didst thou exist-and, in my death, see by this image, which is thine own, how utterly thou hast murdered thyself. — Edgar Allan Poe Copy Share Image
“When Matthew merely stared at him, Jackson reached into the weapon box and pulled out a sheathed machete, handing it to the… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Either I will come back after hoisting the Tricolor, or I will come back wrapped in it, but I will be back… — Vikram Batra Copy Share Image
Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
All sincere boys fall in love with stupid girls, all sincere girls fall in love with stupid boys, I am neither stupid… — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
It may sound funny, but I love the South. I don't choose to live anywhere else. There's land here, where a man… — Medgar Evers Copy Share Image
The funny thing about the entertainment business is that we all feel like kids playing in a candy store, but we are… — Julie Plec Copy Share Image
What a mess! I can't believe I mixed up my Valentine cards. Now my girlfriend thinks I love her AND my wife… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Everybody has a story. And there's something to be learned from every experience. — Oprah Winfrey Copy Share Image
Thank you so much for breaking my heart because you got me four Grammys. — Sam Smith Copy Share Image
Aw, how could he Jorge Orta lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico. — Harry Caray Copy Share Image
Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“She picked up a handheld grenade launcher, cradling it like a baby.” — Kimberly Derting Copy Share Image
At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage. — John Andrew Holmes Copy Share Image
You are brave... when you overcome your fear and help others to do the same. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Freedom is not only bought with a great price; it is maintained by unremitting effort. — Calvin Coolidge Copy Share Image
My brain won't stop thinking about you, because my heart won't stop wanting you. Fuck, I need to move on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What I was saved to is much more important than what I was saved from. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
I know he is younger than me, but I absolutely love Zac Efron. His hair is always so pretty. — Lauren Conrad Copy Share Image
Final Destination 5...well someone doesn't understand the meaning of 'Final'. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Where peace And rest can never dwell, hope never comes, That comes to all. — John Milton Copy Share Image
“Oh, I love you, June, I really do. It's just that you sounded so...twat-ish just then.” — Red Tash Copy Share Image
It is better to prepare and prevent than it is to repair and repent. — Ezra Taft Benson Copy Share Image
The gospel is an exclusive truth but it's the most inclusive exclusive truth in the world. — Timothy Keller Copy Share Image
The shortest horror story: The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
