People who wait for 4 hours to reply to text messages with LOL should be shot!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
Wondering why somebody didn't text back, then realizing you didn't even send the text!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never Mind. Definition: You should've listened the first 5 times, bitch. — Alfonso Martinez Copy Share Image
Teacher: I hope I don't see you copying another student's homework. Me: Yeah, I hope you don't see that either!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The wise never marry...and when they marry they become otherwise!.. — Stephen Hawking Copy Share Image
“You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. You’re … asking me to cut that dress off you? I’m praying for strength.” — Cristin Harber Copy Share Image
Oh, you hate when guys stare at your boobs? You should call the police and report the person who ripped your top… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No am not yet a fool am just doing what I think is the best for my life. — Sikhwetha Maanda Stanley Copy Share Image
No I will not share my iPod with you. It's called an iPod, not an UsPod. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.” — Matshona Dhliwayo Copy Share Image
Its really funny 90% of Indian couple they meet each others one time and the 2nd time they got married. — Jane Amy Gangte Copy Share Image
“You’re like an oceanic Lassie.” My grin twitched on my face, threatening to tumble over into laughter again.” — Katherine McIntyre Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave??? The microwave doesn't brown your sausage — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, I have DirectTV. — Alfonso Martinez Copy Share Image
“Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.” — Matshona Dhliwayo Copy Share Image
“Marg muttered something under her breath. It was either “Who does he think he is?” or “I hope he has no kids.”… — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
A man walks up to a woman in the bar and says, you're gonna get laid tonight. quite surprised, she replies are… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
“I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
You just think you got game because You slept with your high school teacher.. but I won't bother to bring up the… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
“I suppose I could get a job to have something to do, but working when I don't have to work would be… — Stephen Reid Andrews Copy Share Image
My Face book gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11 fake friends, 10 FB hackings, 9 new sins 8 play dates, 7… — Denver Mc Copy Share Image
Feeding my dog and suddently I saw my neighbour dogs coming, they start to fight over the food,and I'm trying to escape… — Brittannia Calder Copy Share Image
“Its a flash drive." When his only answer was a blank stare, I continued. "It holds information from a computer." He took… — Jus Accardo Copy Share Image
“Me: "it does not taste like God Himself cooked heaven into a series of five dishes which were then served to you… — John Green Copy Share Image
“Ahhh, you two are special friends." Nick "How do you mean?" Kyrian "He thinks we're a couple" Ash "No No No Definitely… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
