Funny drinking Quotes · Page 2

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.

— Celia Rivenbark

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

— Noel Coward

I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more,…

— Mark Twain

No poems can please long or live that are written by water drinkers.

— Horace

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

— W. C. Fields

Any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.

— Ernest Hemingway

We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.

— Jerome K. Jerome

Don't trust people who don't laugh. I don't.

— Maya Angelou

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today…

— Winston Churchill

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

— Mitch Hedberg

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.

— Benjamin Franklin

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie…

— P. J. O'Rourke

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

— Albert Einstein

My advice to you... is to start drinking heavily.

— John Belushi

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

— Nancy Astor

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

— Steve Martin

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

— Dudley Moore

Protocol, alcohol, and Geritol.

— Adlai E. Stevenson

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

— W. C. Fields

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

— Brendan Behan

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

— Adam Sandler

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

— Mark Twain

My name is Adam. My father's name is Adam. Having the same name as your father, it's alright until your voice changes.…

— Adam Sandler

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

— Joe E. Lewis

What's made Milwaukee famous has made a loser out of me.

— Glenn Sutton