“Sympathy is why when a man is getting mugged, you let him keep his shirt after you take his life. Funerals are… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Seize something wonderful; don't lose your chance waiting for it to become legal.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“A man is always devoted to something more tangible than a woman - the idea of her.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The French: a people who have used their sophisticated culture and beautiful language to bequeath to the world the sliced potato.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Making love to a person in their sleep is the only guarantee they'll wake up with a smile on their face.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The only way to be completely self-consistent is to be constantly uttering paradoxes.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees,… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Dentistry is a precondition to love at first sight. When your eyes meet she beams with happiness, but when you smile back she shows… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“When it’s not enough to veto your children’s tendencies, you must in vitro them.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Don't swallow: your bulging, blushing cheeks display the saliva you want to share.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Cannibal: epicures who abstain from alcohol and tobacco. As moral guides, they are underutilized in the police forces of modern societies. ” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I have never sought to displease; I merely seek pleasure and avoid the pain it causes those who work to produce it. That is… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
