Happy Father's Day to a wonderful husband who no matter what having kids has done to my body still seems to want… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Relationships Nowadays: First week I love you baby! Second week we are forever! Third week single. be back latter — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wife: Sweetheart, I'm pregnant! Oh my God, what would you want it to be? Husband: A joke. 1 Jul — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry Boss's Day is awkward since you are, were, or should be screwing your boss. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not the only one who fears they're being watched through their computer's camera. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No one is normal. There are just a lot of weird people with things in common. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. Wait, I think beautiful is too strong… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love everybody...!!! Some I love to be around, some I love 2 avoid, and others I love to punch in the face...... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Question: What was the hardest thing you had to give up? Answer: I know this is kinda pathtic but probably brady..this kid… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How do people look so hot at the beach with their wet hair and their wet bodies and I just look like… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When your teacher is talking about her kids and all you're thinking is omg you had sex!? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I reach over and choke you, it's not that I don't like you. It's just that I've had to much caffeine… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 50 minute clarinet solo. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like...Mini Skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I smile because you're my sister. I laugh because you can't do nothing about it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey guys Sorry I haven't been on! I've had cheer camp and we keep getting really bad storms that keep knocking out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder how some people don't choke on all the crap that comes out of their mouth! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best way to spend your weekend is by watching a horror movie and screaming louder than the characters in it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when your trying to watch something, and your entire family decide to have a competition of who can be the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Given the amount of food I plan to gorge on this year, I'm not confident in the integrity of this chair's construction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
