“Hope and God were buddies. Theirs was not a formal relationship steeped in ritual and tradition. It was more of a close… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone:… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I don't have a fixed routine. I write every day but I don't "write" every day, if that makes any sense. In… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
When I ate vanilla frosting straight from the can, I could feel God standing right nest to me like a real best… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“I confidently walked up to the counter, and his friends moved to the side to let me through. I handed him the… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
The reason I know what we are to each other is because we fight freely and almost constantly, about even the smallest… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Be glad you don't have a vagina," my friend, who does have a vagina, told me. "You have to have a special… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“I could not imagine the kind of person that would, upon seeing a crazy talcum-powder-covered Southern lady think to herself, Hmmmm, she… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
