I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was just the first prenatal visit. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?' — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Many people are intimidated by doctors. ... People also feel stupid when they don't understand what a doctor's talking about the first… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
You always hear about fashion's success stories. How a starlet lost an earring one night and by the next morning, the entire… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
