I'm a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it.… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere. — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
