Whenever I get a new calender, I flip straight to my birthday month to see which picture I got. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone gives you food out of nowhere, the first thing you say is, 'What did you do to it?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Art of War:Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. - Oh! You didn't even deserve to be one. Unfriend! — Yvonne Urlanda Copy Share Image
When people ask me why I don't have any tattoos I ask them 'Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Go ahead and play your little childish games, I have u figured out, I'm a few steps ahead of u, think u… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear iPod, when I put you on shuffle, what I really mean is play my favorite songs. Sincerely, next, next, next, next,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Am I the only one who is tired of people complaining about their love lives, friends, or just their lives over facebook… — Nastiya Copy Share Image
Making Sense Is Not All About Posting A Long Status, But Is All About Getting Straight To The Point. We Don't Have… — Sabelo Lan Mashabela Copy Share Image
My cock got caught in my zipper today....at least that's what I'm telling my wife when she sees the teeth marks on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't give meaning if someone treat's you special ..Because you might do some stupid thing's like FALLING INLOVE!! — Strawberry Copy Share Image
In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You thought you were a nothing, but you're really a something, which makes you an anything. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Before all I can do is to hide from you ,cause I don't know how to express my feeling for you. But… — Strawberry Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wish facebook would notify me when people delete me, that way I can Like it. — Nate Copy Share Image
For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
