I hate when I think Ive found a parking space, only for it to turn out to be a cart corral. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't care what the expiration date says, I'm smelling the milk before I drink it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Driving to work playing the 'Let's see how long I can drive with my gas light on.' game. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate driving behind log trucks, all I can think about is Final Destination... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the people in horror movies listened to me they would probably still be alive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why I try samples at stores: 5% Im thinking of buying the product 95% I want free food — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you have nothing to do when you check Facebook every five minutes to see whats going on in someone elses… — Ritu Copy Share Image
I don't care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles...… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That terrible moment when you are halfway across the room with the food you just microwaved and your hands decide it's too… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see who's real and who's fake... — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Standing there in front of a closet full of clothes and thinking to yourself, 'I have nothing to wear!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Daydreaming while you're reading, then having to re-read what you just read. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
BRB = I don't want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don't care. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Okay. - the only thing ever said by guys in Sex, Shower and Sandwitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is so much drama on Facebook, I'm surprised that they don't have an awards show. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Things that probably shouldn't be broken: 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman wants people saying behind her back is nice ass. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Taking your own candy to the movies. $6.00 for a bag of skittles my ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My ex updated his Facebook status and said he was standing on a cliff, so I poked him. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I kill a bug in my house, I leave the dead body around for a bit to warn the others.!!! — Tufail Mehraj Copy Share Image
Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
