Facebook status Quotes · Page 33

I'll never understand why British people lose their accent when they sing.

— Anonymous

Pain Is The Only Thing Thats Telling Me, Im Still Alive..

— Anonymous

Liking your own Facebook status Is like high fiving yourself in public.

— Anonymous

Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

— Nikhil Saluja

Most people don't realize their opinion is irrelevant as fuck.

— Nikhil Saluja

Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

If sex isn't better than love, then why they have all these hoes walking around ?

— Anonymous

Sometime I do express my angers here (Twitter) to avoid cursed u there (Facebook).

— Diana Yan Manan

Making Sense Is Not All About Posting A Long Status, But Is All About Getting Straight To The Point. We Don't Have…

— Sabelo Lan Mashabela

May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.

— Anonymous

When I'm reading a book and someone asks me what I'm reading, I don't answer. I just raise book up, so they…

— Anonymous

I've never seen a McDonalds or a Burger King under construction. They just show up out of nowhere.

— Anonymous

I never use the little twist ties to close a bag of bread...I just spin the bag and tuck it under the…

— Anonymous

Dear Mom and Dad, Just because I listen to music that say bad words, talk about sex, drugs and alcohol DOESN'T mean…

— Martha Edith

Bitches be twerking for NO REASON, *microwave goes off* oh shit , my food done. *starts twerking* HOE SIT YO ASS DOWN & EAT !

— Armin Ferizovic

The house is clean, the kids are fed, I've scrubbed my butt now I'm off to bed. Goodnight friends, sleep with the…

— Julie Hernandez

We must give importance to time when it comes to love.

— Anonymous

Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes.

— Nikhil Saluja

History may repeat itself, But Herstory won't ever shut the fuck up about it.

— Nikhil Saluja

What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem. 99% demons.

— Anonymous

Some people rather die than be who they truly are. -Just Saying

— Ephrem Hardin

That awkward moment when someone is staring at you and laughing at the same time.

— Anonymous

May you live to be as old as the number of Instagram pictures you took of your birthday cake.

— Anonymous

Calculating how long you've been showering by adding up the songs you listened to.

— Anonymous

I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

— Becca

Does anyone else get bothered by that last inch the shower curtain wont cover?

— Anonymous

Nothing says freedom like pooping with the bathroom door open.

— Anonymous

They say you are what you eat. Well that's funny...I don't recall eating a sexy beast today.

— Anonymous

There'd be less accidents if there was a texting lane.

— Anonymous

I never pay my attention. he's going to die poor.

— Nikhil Saluja

Everyone on Facebook is faithful? That's what thier statuses say.

— Livefree2dream44

Life is a artwork. And the picture you paint is what describes who you are.

— Emanuel Sebastiao

Whenever I get a new calender, I flip straight to my birthday month to see which picture I got.

— Anonymous

SHUT UP! You don't know me ...but your boyfriend does

— Anonymous

Remember the day I gave you my word, Yes I need them back.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's okay not to be liked by everyone. -Just Saying

— Ephrem Hardin

Like this status and I will share our favorite memory on your wall.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

She might as well post, Need attention NOW as her Facebook status.

— Anonymous

What the fuck do you want from me? is the new hello.

— Nikhil Saluja

All desirable things in life are either banned, expensive, illegal or married to someone else.

— Anonymous