Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When I read some of the things other movie people say about their work, I think I'm in the wrong business. I… — Fred MacMurray Copy Share Image
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Yes, I do feel the world revolves around me. After all, I am the main character of my own life. — Stefanie Schneider Copy Share Image
In a pond koi can reach lengths of eighteen inches. Amazingly, when placed in a lake, koi can grow to three feet… — Vince Poscente Copy Share Image
In this world, man is a target of death, an easy prey to calamities, here every morsel and every draught is liable… — Ali ibn Abi Talib Copy Share Image
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I had learned to respect the intelligence, integrity, creativity and capacity for deep thought and hard work latent somewhere in every child;… — Sybil Marshall Copy Share Image
The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
In the desert you become a discoverer. You discover your soul, which had been submerged in vain pursuits, which had been lost… — Ameen Rihani Copy Share Image
Marta likes to talk about sensuality, but I don't think she would know sensuality if it bit her on the ass. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Even though he was and enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
One should express his viewpoint regarding what he performed in his country and in a vast part of the world with great… — Ruhollah Khomeini Copy Share Image
Real value isn’t in what you own, drive, wear or live. The greater value is found in love and life, health and… — T. D. Jakes Copy Share Image
People just naturally assume that dogs would be incapable of working together on some sort of construction project. But what about just… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have many deep thoughts in God, but I take my own measure, lest I perish by boasting... For I myself, though… — Ignatius of Antioch Copy Share Image
