Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity. — Bob Parsons Copy Share Image
In the uttermost meaning of the words, thought is devout, and devotion is thought. Deep calls unto deep. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Life is a dream.. Death is also a dream..for that matter, waking is a dream and sleeping is a dream. Every situation… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I didn't have all the expectations and the publicity. It probably made me work harder and learn more. It was a blessing… — Dustin Penner Copy Share Image
What thwarts us and demands of us the greatest effort is also what can teach us most. — Andre Gide Copy Share Image
You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out,… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
No one can hate you with more intensity than someone who used to love you. — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“When a writer has deep thoughts, I expect him to also have a deep voice. And if he doesn’t, he should remain… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
The things you have that money won't buy are the things that will enable you to get more of the things that… — Zig Ziglar Copy Share Image
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I don't think I'm ever more "aware" than I am right after I hit my thumb with a hammer. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
