Comedy Quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing…

— Yakov Smirnoff

Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.

— Yakov Smirnoff

In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!

— Yakov Smirnoff

As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I…

— Yakov Smirnoff

Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.

— Yakov Smirnoff

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

— Yakov Smirnoff

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

— Yakov Smirnoff

A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.

— Yakov Smirnoff

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

— Yakov Smirnoff

If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

— Yakov Smirnoff

If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.

— Yakov Smirnoff

I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to…

— Yakov Smirnoff

In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

— Yakov Smirnoff

Never having alone time is real tough on people.

— Yakov Smirnoff

In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

— Yakov Smirnoff