Comedy Quotes by Paul Merton

I never give anyone advice: it can backfire horribly. In the 1950s, Eric Morecambe told Ken Dodd to get his teeth fixed. But those…

— Paul Merton

At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly…

— Paul Merton

In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.

— Paul Merton

I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over…

— Paul Merton

I read every book about Buster Keaton and Chaplin to see how they worked - it's all about dedication, tunnel vision, pursuit of perfection,…

— Paul Merton

In a psychiatric hospital, a lot of people believe that people on TV are talking to them directly through the screen. I'm with about…

— Paul Merton

When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or…

— Paul Merton

Maybe there's a perception of me as grumpy old bugger who suffers from depression. It's a total misconception. I don't think of myself as…

— Paul Merton

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't,…

— Paul Merton

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

— Paul Merton

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really…

— Paul Merton

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

— Paul Merton