Comedy Quotes by Dave Portnoy

All Patriot fans despise Goodell.

— Dave Portnoy

We're a comedy brand that pokes fun at everybody.

— Dave Portnoy

People know I'm a Jake Paul guy. I respect people who take over the Internet, and this guy has got maybe more haters than…

— Dave Portnoy

You judge a pizza place on their cheese slice.

— Dave Portnoy

Do I like Manhattan? No. Do I want to be in Manhattan? No.

— Dave Portnoy

I go on EEI shows. I go on with people I like.

— Dave Portnoy

I think I'm a fairly smart person.

— Dave Portnoy

I figured I should have a website, because that's what everybody was doing.

— Dave Portnoy

We have no union at Barstool Sports. Nobody is trying to make a union at Barstool Sports.

— Dave Portnoy

I make the decisions nobody else has the stomach to make.

— Dave Portnoy

That's the thing about New York, the streets of New York are crazy!

— Dave Portnoy

Some girls are just cut out to be housewives, drive SUVs and sing in the shower as opposed to being superstars.

— Dave Portnoy