I wanted to be a comedian. And I did that so much in high school, I couldn't get a girlfriend. — Chuck Berry Copy Share Image
I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
My influences as a comedian and filmmaker are Albert Brooks, Lenny Bruce, Woody Allen, Andy Kaufman and John Cassevettes. — Sam Seder Copy Share Image
I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was… — Albert Brooks Copy Share Image
“Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.” — Louis C.K Copy Share Image
I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
My mother, Barbara, was a dancer from the age of 14 to 19. She toured with the comedian Max Wall in a… — Toyah Willcox Copy Share Image
I usually just say I'm a stand-up comedian, but I use looping machines to create ideas with my voice. — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
Growing up as a comedian, the first thing you dream of is having your own album, but even more than that, I… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
I'd like to help other comedians and when I get a little older I'd like to open up a nice comedy club… — Bruce Bruce Copy Share Image
I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I think a lot of comedians sometimes pretend to find the job more taxing than it is. — Dani Levy Copy Share Image
“Shut up…let me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And… — Louis C.K Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Sometimes people say I'm a political comedian, which, actually I'm not. I'm a comedian who sometimes discusses politics, culture - again, the… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I try to be personal, but that's not me, either. What seems to work best, and the tweets I enjoy reading the… — John Cho Copy Share Image
When I started, you didn't make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn't get a lot of respect. — David Steinberg Copy Share Image
“Divorce is like surgery without anesthesia. You can feel every cut, every tear, and it leaves scars you can't see, but you… — Paul Hogan Copy Share Image
Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
My first films were comedy, 'Murder By Death,' and 'The Cheap Detective.' But now they won't think of me as a comedian.… — James Cromwell Copy Share Image
Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian… — Robert Webb Copy Share Image
The reigning Miss Canada has been arrested for punching out another woman in a bar fight.Quite frankly, I think it's refreshing to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
eah, you don't get a lot of meatheads doing improvised theater to begin with, and that's always been my thing. I talk… — Jon Gabrus Copy Share Image
