Douche: hey Girl: Douche: HEY Girl: What? Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick Girl: Excuse me?… — Ella Rojas Copy Share Image
Today makes me want to go to the beach and swim in the water but then again I don't know how to… — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
When people talk about me behind my back, I sit back and think 'Wow, I've got myself a fan club!' — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
Going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a prossitute for a hug — Zane Raymond Copy Share Image
Way to make a girl smile: always tell her You're beautiful. a little lie doesn't matter (: — OhItsVynn Copy Share Image
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What if the idea of everything being legal for a night was for real.. I would park in a no park zone… — SouL Copy Share Image
In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's okay to be single as long as you enjoy it and not dying for a boyfriend. — OhItsVynn Copy Share Image
They say let's go half on a baby, but I'm like fuck that let's go half on these condoms... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
1.Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications. — Becca Copy Share Image
Your the type of person who walks up while I'm cutting grass and ask what I'm doing? Bitch I'm cutting grass ... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
Did you know that "Dammit I'm Mad" spelled backwards is "Dammit I'm Mad?" — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when an ugly person says I need my beauty sleep when they really need to hibernate... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Anyone who refuses the love of a child deserves nothing but evil as terrible as the heart you have blackened. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wall. My status. My opinions. My thoughts. None of your business. — SangFroid Stalker Copy Share Image
