I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Suicide is what the death certificate says when one dies of depression. — Peter D. Kramer Copy Share Image
I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause. — Ronnie Shakes Copy Share Image
I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Gender data is important. If girls don’t have a birth certificate, how do we know how many are marrying as children? — Kathy Calvin Copy Share Image
I make niggas eat dirt and fart dust, Then give you a $80 gift certificate to Pussies "Я" Us. — Ludacris Copy Share Image
Anyone can get a degree or a certificate in something. Big deal. A piece of paper from a university somewhere doesn't define… — Rachel Gibson Copy Share Image
How many McDonald's gift certificates would it take to sway a lot of Americans to pledge to never publicly criticize the U.S,… — James Bovard Copy Share Image
President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.' — David Letterman Copy Share Image
No one's ever asked to see my birth certificate. They know that this is the place that we were born and raised. — Mitt Romney Copy Share Image
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
I reached a time in college when I didn't know what I wanted to do. At that time, women's careers were essentially… — Kay Granger Copy Share Image
Merely presenting a driver's license or other document based on a birth certificate is not enough for an accurate verification. Biometric verification… — Bob Dole Copy Share Image
Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
Even when all the paperwork-a marriage license, a notarized deed, two birth certificates, and seven years of tax returns-clearly indicates you're an… — Kelly Corrigan Copy Share Image
I was in college, but I got kicked out. It was a very free school, but I created a "bad impression." Like… — Steve Winwood Copy Share Image
When goods are exchanged between countries, they must be paid for by commodities or gold. They cannot be paid for by the… — Carroll Quigley Copy Share Image
I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Behind every individual closes organization; before him opens liberty,--the Better, the Best. The first and worse races are dead.The second and imperfect… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
I believe that every single human being is entitled to the protection of our laws, whether they can vote or not. Whether… — Marco Rubio Copy Share Image
There is no country in which so absolute a homage is paid to wealth. In America there is a touch of shame… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
In medieval times, the Church used to sell 'indulgences' for money. This amounted to paying for some number of days' remission from… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
Thee might observe incidentally that if the state paid for child-bearing it might and ought to require a medical certificate that the… — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
There is a section of our population in South Africa that you can't expect to get integrated in the economy of its… — Thabo Mbeki Copy Share Image
No birth certificate is issued when friendship is born. There is nothing tangible. There is just a feeling that your life is… — Steve Tesich Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friends call it. — Jenny Offill Copy Share Image
The three most important documents a free society gives are a birth certificate, a passport, and a library card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The submission of her body without love or desire is degrading to the woman's finer sensibility, all the marriage certificates on earth… — Margaret Sanger Copy Share Image
Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
What do Obama and God have in common? Neither has a birth certificate. How do they differ? God does not think he's… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
Now I have something. In fact, I have posted on the Internet more than Obama has. My birth certificate actually has signatures. — Orly Taitz Copy Share Image
Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate. — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
