We set up a bakery called Bad Boy Bakery, to cook on the inside to sell on the outside. It was huge,… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think if a physician wrote on a death certificate that old age was the cause of death, he'd be thrown out… — George Wald Copy Share Image
How many McDonald's gift certificates would it take to sway a lot of Americans to pledge to never publicly criticize the U.S,… — James Bovard Copy Share Image
I had a certificate that said, 'Doctor of Mixology, Harvard University,' that I actually got from Harvard University. A friend of mine… — Ronda Rousey Copy Share Image
We might think of dollars as being 'certificates of performance.' The better I serve my fellow man, and the higher the value… — Walter E. Williams Copy Share Image
I was fortunate enough to be an American citizen by birth and I have the birth certificate to prove it. — Raul Labrador Copy Share Image
Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
You don't date an annuity, you marry it. An annuity isn't a mutual fund that you buy today and sell tomorrow. Nor… — Jane Bryant Quinn Copy Share Image
I reached a time in college when I didn't know what I wanted to do. At that time, women's careers were essentially… — Kay Granger Copy Share Image
The three most important documents a free society gives are a birth certificate, a passport, and a library card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never went to drama school, I don't have any certificates saying: 'He's a qualified actor.' But I did think that 'House'… — Hugh Laurie Copy Share Image
The umlaut isn't on my birth certificate. I had this book as a child called Chloe and Maude, and there was an… — Chloe Sevigny Copy Share Image
I make niggas eat dirt and fart dust, Then give you a $80 gift certificate to Pussies "Я" Us. — Ludacris Copy Share Image
President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friends call it. — Jenny Offill Copy Share Image
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
I'm Ready to Die without a Reasonable Doubt Smoke Chronic and hit it Doggystyle before I go out. Until they sign my… — Jayceon Terrell Taylor Copy Share Image
Most people get excited over new cars; I get excited over death certificates. It's no wonder my husband worries about my state… — Rett MacPherson Copy Share Image
This whole business of Trade gives me to pause and think, as it constitutes false relations between men; inasmuch as I am… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
I have a very vibrant imposter syndrome that goes on throughout most of my life, but nothing more than when someone has… — Robin Ince Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
