Announcements Quote by Jimmy Fallon

“Trump is running for president and he's wasting no time getting down to business. In fact, just after his announcement he demanded to see Jeb Bush's birth certificate.”

Jimmy Fallon

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More by Jimmy Fallon

A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids…

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I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put it, 'Thanks,…

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NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station. And just like New York taxis, they're all going to be…

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In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In…

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After Donald Trump wrote Lindsey Graham's cellphone number on a piece of paper and showed it to everybody, Graham said he's getting a new…

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Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question:…

Jimmy Fallon

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A clothing company is making T-shirts inspired by Bernie Sanders with messages like 'Feel the Bern.' They were gonna make them for Lincoln Chafee…

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Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration…

Jimmy Fallon

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I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox.

Jimmy Fallon

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My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream.

Jimmy Fallon

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The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather - because…

Jimmy Fallon

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Yesterday, the Supreme Court spent over an hour listening to arguments on whether Obamacare is unconstitutional. Yeah, listening to arguments about Obamacare for an…

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More Announcements quotes

Smart people duck when they hear the dread announcement 'I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.

Judith Martin

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When personal freedom's being abused, you have to move to limit it. That's what we did in the announcement I made last weekend on…

William J. Clinton

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We welcome the Election Commission's announcement of a five-phase poll in the state. We will abide by all the guidelines and directives issued by…

Mamata Banerjee

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the announcement that you are going to tell a good story (and the chuckle that precedes it) is always a dangerous opening.

Margot Asquith

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In addition to fines, violators of decency standards could be required to air public service announcements serving educational and informational needs of children.

Charles W. Pickering

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I ejaculated about ten minutes ago and the stuff was black. So everything is not normal." Silence greeted that happy little announcement. Man, if…

J.R. Ward

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We commend GM for being the first out of the starting gate in the Great Plug-In Car Race of 2007. GM's announcements are the…

Felix Kramer

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Innovating Women is more important today than ever. Things are changing for the better. The recent announcements by Google, LinkedIn, Yahoo, and Facebook of…

Vivek Wadhwa