Being cool Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 11

Some smoke after sex. Some sleep after sex. Others just cuddle. I remove traces of my DNA.

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl leaves you breathless after sex. The woman leaves you in a coma.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is not so much finding the right person -- but being the right person;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a husband can determine when his wife comes to the end of one argument and begins the next;

— Nikhil Saluja

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The last and most serious of the childhood diseases;

— Nikhil Saluja

What's the WiFi password here? is the new Finally I decided to visit you

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh, you're an actor??? Why don't you act like a waiter and get me another beer.

— Nikhil Saluja

Frankness is uttered, but rudeness is heard.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just learned today that bacteria is not the back door of a cafeteria.

— Nikhil Saluja

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

— Nikhil Saluja

I still think that working hard is lame.

— Nikhil Saluja

I showed my therapist some of my tweets and now she's seeing a therapist.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, SMART, A man who is on listening terms with his wife

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman say:OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF. Woman means:I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going Dutch.

— Nikhil Saluja

Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.

— Nikhil Saluja

BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER!

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The crocodile in the river of desire;

— Nikhil Saluja

Axis: Instruments used to fell trees

— Nikhil Saluja

After getting married, the most romantic sex positions is 96. That's where you sleep with your backs to each other and never…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The only permanent cure for love;

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement;

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, living proof that women can take a joke;

— Nikhil Saluja

Ever since I heard about Aladdin, I stop trusting carpets.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIED MAN, a person who has learned to turn off the car motor when his wife calls: I'll be right out

— Nikhil Saluja