“He gave me a look that would have made cancer apologize, then ran like hell.” — David Wong Apologize Copy Share Image
“My melon soul Crushed by your Gallagher of apathy Sledgehammer! Hammerrrrr!” — David Wong Soul Crushed Copy Share Image
“I heard a screeching like steam from a teapot, and realized it was me.” — David Wong Screeching Copy Share Image
“You want to hear a story? Well, buckle the fuck up." From: What the Hell Did I Just Read” — David Wong Want Hear Copy Share Image
“Society is nothing more than people cooperating with other people they'd much rather murder.” — David Wong Community Copy Share Image
And, well, that's my story," I said. "I'm sorry that it's so, you know. Retarded. — David Wong I m sorry Copy Share Image
“You don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination.” — David Wong Creativity Copy Share Image
Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him. — David Wong Convincing Copy Share Image
“The channel got switched to Fox News and a panel of experts was desperately trying to fill airtime by finding ways to… — David Wong Fox news Copy Share Image
“CHAPTER 11 By the way . . . Looking back, if I had gone in and seen what was in the toolshed, I would… — David Wong Chapter 11 Copy Share Image
“Fred said, “Man, I think he’s gonna make a fuckin’ suit of human skin, using the best parts from each of us.”… — David Wong Horror Copy Share Image
“Fred nodded and said, “So what you’re saying is, if we all die, that’s not even the worst-case scenario.” John replied, “I’d… — David Wong Humor Copy Share Image
“—Kill me and burn my body. Then burn this place down on top of me. Find the other doors if there are… — David Wong Burn Copy Share Image
Tried to escape, to block out the fact that I was being eaten alive by arachnids. For some reason the only thing… — David Wong Alive Copy Share Image
“Do they know they make the honey for you? Or do they work tirelessly because they think its their own choice?” — David Wong Honey Copy Share Image
“And you know what happens when a ship gets too many rats on board? It sinks. That's what. I wondered if a… — David Wong Rats Copy Share Image
“I had a familiar, nervous sensation, one that goes all the way back to elementary school. It's the simultaneous realization that I… — David Wong David-wong Copy Share Image
To this day I don’t know if he was struggling with the moral implications of gunning down half a dozen civilians, or… — David Wong Counting Copy Share Image
“Contrary to what TV and movies have told you, it’s nearly impossible to have a hallucination that you can both see and… — David Wong Execution Copy Share Image
“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of… — David Wong Astronomy Copy Share Image
I wanted to curl up into a fetal position and start sucking my thumb, let my tears and dripping saliva pool under… — David Wong Curls Copy Share Image
“I’m not crazy,” I said, crazily, to my court-appointed therapist. He seemed bored with our session. That actually made me want to… — David Wong Crazy Copy Share Image
What humans want most of all, is to be right. Even if we're being right about our own doom. If we believe… — David Wong Believe Copy Share Image
“Hollywood raised us. Your mind processes the world through a filter formed by comic books and action movies on Cinemax. That's why… — David Wong Action movie Copy Share Image
We can cooperate more easily with those who more easily intelligible to us, who are more familiar to us. But the advantages… — David Wong Character Copy Share Image
“Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax… — David Wong Computers Copy Share Image
“There are two types of people on planet Earth, Batman and Iron Man. Batman has a secret identity, right? So Bruce Wayne… — David Wong Bruce wayne Copy Share Image
“Here's where things get hazy. John claims that the men hauling him away from the scene were escorted by other men carrying… — David Wong Another man Copy Share Image
“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of… — David Wong Apathy Copy Share Image
My version of relativism is pluralistic and attributes functions to morality that in combination with human nature place limits on what could… — David Wong Accepted Copy Share Image
Both sameness and difference are issues for us. A sign of cultural homogenization is that languages are disappearing at an alarming rate.… — David Wong Be cautious Copy Share Image
“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed… — David Wong Dick-jokes Copy Share Image
“ No matter where you go, management is always a bunch of cheap bastards .” — David Wong Cheap Copy Share Image
