I love following my friend Tony Zaret on Instagram. He's a…

It's good to be funny when you are a comedian.

— George Lindsey

I'm just funny enough as a comedian to know I'm not good enough to be a comedian.

— John Popper

Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get…

— Emo Philips

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is…

— Warren Hutcherson

Chihuahua. There's a waste of dog food. Looks like a dog that is still far away.

— Billiam Coronel

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.

— Ron Richards

I myself grew up when radio was very important. I'd come home from school and turn on the radio. There were funny comedians and…

— Kurt Vonnegut

I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all…

— Garry Shandling

I have a funny sense of humor. If I was a comedian and I was up on stage, people would think that's funny, because…

— Lil B

I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, "It's just shock value.…

— David Cross

Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation that does…

— Anthony Jeselnik

One night I attended a Laughing Liberally comedy show. There was one funny comedian there - Lee Camp.

— Matt Labash

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

— Jimmy Carr

I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really…

— Maya Rudolph

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and…

— Carol Leifer