Thinking about all that - what it means to be happy - I think it overloaded your brain. — Jimmy Fallon Brain Copy Share Image
It's Friday. That's one reason to celebrate. Also, it's the first day in a long time when no one declared they're running… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all. — Jimmy Fallon Boston Copy Share Image
Starbucks is planning to close down all the restrooms in its New York locations. Which explains the most popular new Starbucks order:… — Jimmy Fallon Coffee Copy Share Image
God invented mankind because he loved silly stories. Ralph Steadman I like being absurd. — Jimmy Fallon Absurd Copy Share Image
President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ... headlights. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I love Nashville. I've been here so many times... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's… — Jimmy Fallon Country Copy Share Image
Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the… — Jimmy Fallon Arizona Copy Share Image
“Ben: You're gonna get arrested. Lindsey Meeks: You can't sell your tickets! Ben: That's why you ran across the whole field?... Wait,… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
President Obama awarded a National Medal of Arts to author Stephen King. You know, because if there's anyone who can relate to… — Jimmy Fallon Art Copy Share Image
President Obama said that if he could have any superpower, he'd want the ability to speak any language. That's so everyone in… — Jimmy Fallon Ability Copy Share Image
President Obama just made his first presidential trip to the state of Utah. Obama spent his time in Utah just like you'd… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Over the weekend it came out that the U.S. has been listening in on German Chancellor Angela Merkel's cellphone since 2002. At… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A new poll found that almost 70 percent of voters say that whoever our next president is, they must have political experience.… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Some areas near Dallas experienced a 3.5-magnitude earthquake, which some blame on fracking. However, scientists say that it was more likely aftershocks… — Jimmy Fallon Aftershock Copy Share Image
John McCain addressed critics who believe he will be too old to run for a sixth term in the Senate, saying that… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
There's a growing trend of older Americans who are using marijuana in their retirement. That makes sense because old people are always… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. — Jimmy Fallon Catholic Copy Share Image
You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you… — Jimmy Fallon Exercise Copy Share Image
Steven Spielberg is going to release a biopic about Abraham Lincoln next year. Right, that's a good way to honor Lincoln … — Jimmy Fallon Abraham Copy Share Image
He man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of… — Jimmy Fallon Age Copy Share Image
I read that yesterday, the Mexican peso hit its lowest point since March of 2009. In fact, things got so bad, it… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason. — Jimmy Fallon Astronomy Copy Share Image
In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing. — Jimmy Fallon Moon Copy Share Image
A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on… — Jimmy Fallon Bird Copy Share Image
Today Mitt Romney visited a firehouse here in New York City. Of course, he was disappointed when he learned that the firehouse… — Jimmy Fallon Cities Copy Share Image
Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them. — Jimmy Fallon Jokes Copy Share Image
I feel like I'm being too Zen. I'm inhaling too much patchouli and incense. It's embarrassing. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Hurricane Irene...the storm was huge news. In fact, the Weather Channel reported something they haven't seen in years. Viewers. — Jimmy Fallon Facts Copy Share Image
At a recent education summit, President Obama admitted that he can't rap. When they heard, Americans said, 'Good!' — Jimmy Fallon Education Copy Share Image
Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.' — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
My dad used to work at IBM, so we used to get discounts on computers and stuff, and I did have a… — Jimmy Fallon Computers Copy Share Image
A new study found that a mothers diet affects her babys allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats. — Jimmy Fallon Education Copy Share Image
Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet. — Jimmy Fallon Internet Copy Share Image
Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.' — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
According to a new poll, the number of Americans who trust Hillary is dropping. Specifically into a hole that Hillary covered with… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he… — Jimmy Fallon Creator Copy Share Image
A new report found that Facebook has created more than 450,000 jobs. Unfortunately, photos posted on Facebook have ended 550,000 jobs. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for… — Jimmy Fallon Choices Copy Share Image
