I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You wanna play games; Game On. Just remember, I'm not just a bitch, I am an intelligent bitch and out of your… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
To understand a woman, you have to listen to her when she is looking at you, not when she is talking... — Green Monk Communication Copy Share Image
You know you spend too much time online when you start double clicking on your light switches. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I always wondered how theres 6 members in my family but theres like 20 tooth brushes… — Green Monk Family Copy Share Image
My granddaughter wanted a Cinderella theme party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Keep your friends close and your alcohol closer. Then get drunk and insult your friends. — Green Monk Drunk Copy Share Image
Just saw a homeless guy buy a cup of coffee, drink it, then use the cup to beg and make his money… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Why do porn stars tweet pics of their kids? Factory workers don't tweet pics of their on-the-job accidents .. — Green Monk Factory workers Copy Share Image
They say women love surprises but come out from under her bed yelling surprise! & you get arrested & sent to prison. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
You didn't catch me cheating. I'm a masseuse, my tongue was just giving her tongue a massage. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
You know whats better than watching a beautiful woman get dressed...laughing at what she is wearing — Green Monk Beautiful woman Copy Share Image
Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless someone asked me, What are you doing this weekend? — Green Monk Drugs Copy Share Image
Four miracles of womanhood: getting wet without taking a shower; bleeding without getting hurt; giving milk without eating grass; and making boneless… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When my tweet doesn't get RTed I whisper I don't care what they say. I'm in love with you & kiss the… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The biggest mistake to most people Listen to half of the conversation Understand the quarter Speak all the time.. — Green Monk Biggest mistake Copy Share Image
They say Dont' drink and drive . Well … Yesterday I was drinking a Juice box While riding my Tricycle . Yeah . Im a Badass !!! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Go to a park with shades on and a hoodie, wait until someone asks you which kid is yours and say I… — Green Monk April fools day Copy Share Image
You must stop looking for a reason to call someone a fool...all you need is a mouth! — Green Monk Fool Copy Share Image
Ladies call me Subway because I've got low-quality meat and lie about being six inches! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I respect a woman's decision to undergo plastic surgery to go from being ugly to being ugly & disgusting. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I hope I live to be 100 if only just to mess with people by telling them fake reasons why I lived… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Even when it's not the best of days, you can always tell yourself, hey, at least I'm not the person who sank… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Ladies, there's always going to be that one girl who's prettier than you, but you've just got to find that one guy… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I accused my friend of being gay yesterday... He was so angry he hit me with his purse! — Green Monk Angry Copy Share Image
Ask a SUCCESSFUL person HOW TO FINISH… But always, Ask an EXPERIENCED person HOW TO START — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have enough money to Live comfortably for the rest of my life…...If I die next Tuesday. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators...All I wanted was to complete the circle… — Green Monk Circle of life Copy Share Image
With all the bullshit in my life lately, I'm surprised I can't fertilize a nice flower garden in my back yard! — Green Monk Flower Copy Share Image
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.. — Green Monk Best husband Copy Share Image
On the Internet, you can choose to be whoever you want. I don't understand why so many people choose to be stupid… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Many people dying from natural causes. Forget Aids and Cancer, we need a cure for natural causes. — Green Monk Death Copy Share Image
Whenever I kill a spider in my house I leave it's guts smeared on the wall to let all the other spider… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
A girl who loves you for who you are is priceless. for all other girls, there is master card! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You know you deserve someone better when the one youve always fought for is also the one youve always cried for. — Green Monk Being hurt by someone you love Copy Share Image
The shortest scary story ever: The last man on Earth sat in a room. There was a knock at the door. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Caring for someone is easy but to make someone care for you is difficult¦ So never lose the one who really cares… — Green Monk Caring Copy Share Image
The problem is that as much as I cant force you to love me, I cant force myself to stop loving you. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
