ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.

For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised. For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and reviled. The…

— Rowan Atkinson

Crusaders have just f-ked me over what a bas-rd joke, excuse my language I'm absolutely furious.

— Keith Senior

I always joke and say I want to invent a comfortable stiletto and then retire.

— Sara Blakely

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

— Jimmy Carr

I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...

— Anonymous

And the bigger the fall, the bigger the joke. It would be better fun to throw a custard pie at a bishop than at…

— George Orwell

I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree…

— David Rees

People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go,…

— Tommy Chong

It's harder when people are playing along, because it's just not as funny. They're trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out…

— Steve Carell

High school wasn't a trial by fire or some ordeal that had to be survived. It was all a big joke. You just had…

— Scott Westerfeld

“A joke is a question of mind over manner.”

— Anthony Marais

The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count.

— Paul Auster

Tell me that I misunderstood a joke, but don't tell me that my choice of cravat is wrong.

— David Niven

I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit in the…

— Bill Nighy

I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or…

— Bill Burr