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Politics Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

45 Politics quotes by Ambrose Bierce

All Politics quotes Ambrose Bierce’s page

Ambrose Bierce defines political words with sharp humor. He calls politics a fight over interests that pretends to be about principles, and he labels revolution as a sudden shift in bad government. He also jokes that intelligence is so prized it can excuse someone from office duties.

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WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

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RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

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PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.

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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

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OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.

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INSURRECTION, n. An unsuccessful revolution. Disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

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“Revolution - In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.”

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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in…

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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from…

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POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes…

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ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man…

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Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that…

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TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest…

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CONSUL, n. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure and office from the people is given one by the…

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Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of…

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BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something…

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PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is…

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WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him…

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DULLARD, n. A member of the reigning dynasty in letters and life. The Dullards came in with Adam, and being both numerous…

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OPPOSITION, n. In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it. The King of Ghargaroo, who had…

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EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time…

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OPPOSITION, n. In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it. The King of Ghargaroo, who had…

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DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

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INFLUENCE, n. In politics, a visionary _quo_ given in exchange for a substantial _quid_.

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Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.

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REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the…

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MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

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“Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.”

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EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time…

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NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of…

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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector…

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A revolution, in politics, is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. The substitution of the rule of an administration for…

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I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured…

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More by Ambrose Bierce

OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus…

DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes…

REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work…

CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time…

RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who…

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.