Sarcastic Quotes · Page 13

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

— Oscar Wilde

“Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.”

— Will McIntosh

Walk like it's for sale and the rent is due tomorrow.

— Anonymous

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

— Ambrose Bierce

His face was filled with broken commandments.

— John Masefield

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

— Tom Lehrer

Years of therapy go down the drain after one conversation with you.

— Anonymous

If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!

— Eddie Izzard

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

— George Carlin

The human race is lucky I'm a nice guy, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.

— Anonymous

Though we adore men individually, we agree as a group they're rather stupid.

— Anonymous

It is a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon, 'launder' became a dirty word

— William Zinsser

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two…

— Humaira

“Never be SARCASTIC. A clever remark might gain you a few laughs but the butt of your remarks will be offended and…

— Gary L. Graybill

I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym...Now this whole work-out was a waste of time.

— Keyzee

It's fun to be sarcastic, but now I'm able to express myself in a way that's much more sincere.

— Christina Ricci

“Will you accept me?" Fury "No. I'm here naked with you because all my clothes fell off by accident and I can't…

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

The little dictator who went to Moscow in his green fatigues to receive a bear hug did not forsake the doctrine of…

— Ronald Reagan

Politicians say problems to teens happen because they are so ultra modern.. well, if you watch our dear nation's leaders car, t.v,…

— Rose Hathway

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news…

— David Letterman

I like when I ask a person to please have a seat and they point to the only other chair in the…

— Nicole Hill

A nasty letter or a sarcastic one can make you righteously angry, but what can you do about a polite letter of…

— Anonymous

Style of break up: Boy bought a gift for his Girlfriend. girl:What the hell would I do with this rocket? Boy: you…

— Anonymous

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about…

— Bill Bryson

You are unique. Just like everybody else.

— Paperjam

Lets post quotes off of songs and NOT think for ourselves.

— Karishma Brahmbhatt

He was trying to save both his faces.

— John Gunther

You were looking good from afar.. now you're far from looking good.

— Anonymous

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.

— David Letterman

What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?

— Anonymous

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.

— Ed Begley, Jr

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

— Will Rogers

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

— Noel Coward

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

— Groucho Marx

Please GOD if you cant make me slim, make my friends fat.

— Anonymous

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.

— Jackie Gleason

If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.

— Anonymous

You are not even beneath my contempt.

— Anonymous

'Did you get braces?' Nah bro I'm just chewing staples.

— Anonymous

What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.

— Liberace