Mother in law Quotes · Page 2

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

— H. L. Mencken

I use mother-in-law jokes, kid jokes, tax jokes - anything that works.

— Nipsey Russell

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

— Anonymous

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

— Josh Billings

My mother-in-law is obsessed with clowns.

— Seth

I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.

— Phyllis Diller

No man is really successful until his mother-in-law admits it.

— Vikrant Parsai

“Adam lived 930 years. He never got to know his mother in law.”

— Alin Sav

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

— Les Dawson

Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

— Anonymous

The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

— Les Dawson

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

— Les Dawson

Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother…

— Harriet Lerner

But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the…

— Jerome K. Jerome

They say the definition of ambivalence is watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new Cadillac.

— David Mamet

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'

— Les Dawson

I don't like to speak of Islamic violence, because every day, when I browse the newspapers, I see violence, here in Italy...…

— Pope Francis

My mother-in-law, Nanny, spent her working years as a bookkeeper at a medical office in Columbus, Ohio. Like so many Americans, she…

— Ann McLane Kuster

I went to dinner with my mother-in-law and I just realized I was talking in sound bites to her and expecting her…

— Emily Mortimer

I've been married twice, and I can tell you this right now: no one wants their mother in law all up in…

— Kim Hawthorne

“They're horrible little creatures. All snot and smelly feet and pestering questions." "Then why did you go into teaching?" "It was either…

— Brian Francis

In the case of maternal health care, you look at, well naturally, it's the mother who's the customer, who makes the decisions.…

— Jacqueline Novogratz

My mother-in-law says if you want to live like a Republican, vote like a Democrat. That if you are a part of…

— Thomas Friedman

The lawyer cabled to his client., yr mother in law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?…

— Chloe

One of the things for me, as a biographer, that is so significant is for Eleanor Roosevelt - the child who never…

— Blanche Wiesen Cook

Then there was this freedom the little guys were always getting killed for. Was it freedom from another country? Freedom from work…

— Dalton Trumbo

Professionalism in tennis ... only resulted in making billionaires out of rude children, producing an onslaught of moody defectors, and a lot…

— Dan Jenkins

“For some reason she found that Allan Harrington's attitude of absolute detachment made the whole affair seem much easier for her. And…

— Margaret Widdemer

“Thank you Doctor Gboco for your help because since i have been married to my husband about 6years now i have not…

— Shelly Shapiro

Once when my father-in-law was leaving the house after lunch to return to the field to work, my mother-in-law said, 'Albert, you…

— Joe J. Christensen

A car is like a mother-in-law - if you let it, it will rule your life.

— Jaime Lerner

I love my mother-in-law and I think I'm a really good one, too.

— Reba McEntire

I know my mother-in-law would drive two hours to go see a movie that I'm in.

— Melanie Lynskey

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

— Henny Youngman

Scrum is like your mother-in-law, it points out ALL your faults.

— Ken Schwaber

“A mother gives you a life, a mother-in-law gives you her life.”

— Amit Kalantri

Yet you would not drive a car with your mouth unless you are my mother-in-law.

— Jean-Louis Gassee

My mother-in-law was so mean she blinded herself just to get a free dog.

— Gary Delaney

What a beautiful day! Never mind, my mother in law just walked in.

— Anonymous

My mother-in-law's from Norway, and she's always liked old-school remedies.

— Lindsey Vonn