My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.' — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault -… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me. — Les Dawson Copy Share
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite… — Les Dawson Copy Share
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it. — Les Dawson Copy Share
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps. — Les Dawson Copy Share
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. — Les Dawson Copy Share
In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite… — Les Dawson Copy Share
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.' — Les Dawson Copy Share
With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever. — Les Dawson Copy Share
Mind you, I've always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I'd whisper, 'Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,'… — Les Dawson Copy Share
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing. — Les Dawson Copy Share
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig. — Les Dawson Copy Share
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called… — Les Dawson Copy Share
