Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On the set I make jokes I can't get too involved, or it turns into sentimental soup. I try to keep it… — Michael Haneke Copy Share Image
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Steven Wright can do Steven Wright very well. Not everyone can do Steven Wright's jokes with the same results. — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
As for jokes, I don't think it's necessarily that what I write is funny. — Peter David Copy Share Image
Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I always joke with people that having nephews is the best birth control there is. — Tahj Mowry Copy Share Image
Sex is God's joke on the human race ... if we didn't have sex to make us ridiculous, She would have had… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
“Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember… — Chris Cuomo Copy Share Image
When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes… — Jamie Foxx Copy Share Image
Love is like a storm.It is calm and soothing.It is natural and essential.It is powerful and fulfilling and nothing can get in… — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about.… — Ben Domenech Copy Share Image
I don't care if my opinion falls on the right or the left. I'm more of what I call a passionate centrist.… — Larry Wilmore Copy Share Image
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke.… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
A form of intellectual productiveness, therein lies its peculiar charm. Intellectual productiveness is one of the greatest joys - if not the… — Siegbert Tarrasch Copy Share Image
My friend Myron tells me, 'Last year on Mother's Day the whole family got together for a big dinner and afterward, when… — Joey Adams Copy Share Image
“telling the jokes—was the setups. Why were that priest, that rabbi, and that minister walking down that street? Where were they headed?… — Donald E. Westlake Copy Share Image
“Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "But have you heard the one about… — Bridget Zinn Copy Share Image
But while I'd be their daughter, while I'd eat the roast and come home from dates and wash the dishes, I would… — Judy Blundell Copy Share Image
![“I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember wanting to be you in grade school!"” quote by Chris Cuomo](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/bed/chris-cuomo-46540_always-loved-you_i-ve-always-been-a-fan-at-home-that-s-th_2136028.png)
![“Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.” quote by Ben Domenech](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/738/ben-domenech-4128_comedy_few-years-ago-donald-trump-was-being-roa_2024225.jpg)
