What I've said before, only half in joke, is that everybody in Ireland is famous. Or, maybe better, say everybody is familiar. — Seamus Heaney Copy Share Image
I made a good living being a tough guy on TV, but I'd rather laugh and joke all day long than try… — Stone Cold Steve Austin Copy Share Image
Can you tie a knot? I cannot. So you can knot? No, I cannot knot. Not knot? Who's there? Fuck off!!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Get in my lap and let me show you.” “Is this a joke?” “Am I laughing?” — Whitney Gracia Williams Copy Share Image
I LOVE YOU yes I DO but I wont ever tell you because its just a joke for you. — Nidhi Saini Copy Share Image
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke. — Sally Phillips Copy Share Image
No Barstool writer has ever said or written one thing out of hate or anger. It's always to get a joke. — Dave Portnoy Copy Share Image
Being a fighter is no joke. Year in and year out. Especially as a world champion. All eyes are on you, and… — Naseem Hamed Copy Share Image
I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because… — Wallace Shawn Copy Share Image
From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking… — Tom Stoppard Copy Share Image
“You know, Mac,”Cadmus said still looking out the window. “We may have to work on the way we tell our story …apparently… — Sulari Gentill Copy Share Image
Shame about how we’re gonna die here, though. I mean, seriously. An Arab and a half-Jew enter a store in Tennessee. It’s… — John Green Copy Share Image
I couldn't deliver a joke if you asked me to. It would have to be live and spontaneous. And that's what I… — Regis Philbin Copy Share Image
It's a joke to think that anyone is one thing. We're all such complex creatures. But if I'm going to be a… — Alanis Morissette Copy Share Image
Pretension is a poor joke that you play on yourself. Snap out of it. Recognise your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Real… — Virat Kohli Copy Share Image
“The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The cat's asleep; I whisper "kitten" Till he stirs a little and begins to purr-- He doesn't wake. Today out on the… — Randall Jarrell Copy Share Image
The thing that I get so often with network comedies - and, I think, some of the most brilliant people in the… — Kenya Barris Copy Share Image
I remember the old joke, while women are deciding which schools the kids go to, where you're going to live, how the… — Debra Winger Copy Share Image
To me, my favorite joke on a stand-up special is when someone says something and you go, 'Oh my God, I've been… — Finneas Copy Share Image
I tend to think some things are off-limits. Not in the sense that you should not be able to say them, but… — Stuart Hall Copy Share Image
George Lowe was the one who opened the mail, and George started laughing uproariously and I looked up at him in astonishment… — Edmund Hillary Copy Share Image
“Tell me we’re not going to be stoking up the cook fires to build palisades through the night by their light.’ I… — M.C. Scott Copy Share Image
