“It's amazing the stupid things I say sometimes. I mean, you could start an entire branch of scientific research about the stuff… — Tad Williams Copy Share Image
The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It needs to said that Gerard Brennan's The Point is terrific. Scorchingly funny, black humour at its finest and the most inventive… — Arlene Hunt Copy Share Image
Nixon is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech… — Adlai Stevenson Copy Share Image
“As one veteran Russian pilot dryly told me:"We have to be very careful flying in the clouds. Around here they are full… — Alan Hinkes Copy Share Image
“The two women switched to their native tongue. Kate tuned them out. She understood only half of what they were saying. As… — Karin Slaughter Copy Share Image
“... Brandon's going to talk to a B-O-Y, and -" "What?" "That's your assignment tonight. You converse in public with a boy.… — J.C. Lillis Copy Share Image
If every vampire who said he was at The Crucifixion, was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock . . . — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
“Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
Humour very often consists of shrewd perceptions about people. It's usually fun at someone's expense. Nowadays if you're funny at anybody's expense… — Robertson Davies Copy Share Image
“An Ass put on a Lion's skin and went About the foreset with much merriment, Scaring the foolish beasts by brooks and… — Aesop Copy Share Image
“Probably your biggest mistake was doing funk-dance to Unchained Melody,” the dog offered earnestly. “It’s a ballad, Alf, and to be honest,… — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
“I've always been a monster,' Scapegrace told her, 'but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.' 'You smell terrible.' 'That's… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
“The wild women in his lap,' my father enthused, 'laying their breasts on his head.' There was a moment of stunned silence.… — Patrick Rothfuss Copy Share Image
At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a… — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
“You are created to be a creator. God does not give anyone a finished product. God did not create the telephone, car,… — Patience Johnson Copy Share Image
I think the Irish humour is unique, there are lots of aspects to it. The Irish are quick witted, and their banter… — Dylan Llewellyn Copy Share Image
“I told myself that it took forty-two facial muscles to frown and only four to stretch out my arm and bitch-slap the… — Kathy Lette Copy Share Image
Stand-up comics tend to make two assumptions: that Christians have no sense of humour and that all their audiences are unbelievers. — Ann Widdecombe Copy Share Image
“Laugh until you cry; never let your eyes look dry This is not a matter of joke; this is all to provoke… — Munia Khan Copy Share Image
My real name is Madeleine Wickham, under which I write dramas with an edge of humour. As Sophie Kinsella it's fast, all-out… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
“Would you ask a man who bags groceries if he fears death not because it is death but because there are still… — Don DeLillo Copy Share Image
“A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
One of the real ways out of conflict is humour. It builds bridges; it's a weapon against rigid ideology, narrow thinking, intolerance. — Anthony McCarten Copy Share Image
“I've never seen a naked torso that wasn't on a cross, at least not so close up. I don't know where to… — J.C. Lillis Copy Share Image
Some people don't seem to be able to distinguish between humour and what you really feel. They forget that there's a difference… — Limmy Copy Share Image
“I demoted him from The Best Man Ever to just The Best Man I’d Ever Met. Superman would have charged out (hell,… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“I had wasted my life in the pursuit of a career, romance, financial independence and the best heels in town when it… — Tyne O'Connell Copy Share Image
The Danes don't take themselves seriously at all and look for the joke in everything. Us Scots are on the same line… — Jamie Sives Copy Share Image
Humour is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought - rather it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. — Oscar W. Firkins Copy Share Image
“My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and… — Samuel Johnson Copy Share Image
It's tough making people laugh, as we have so much going on in our lives. We forget to see humour as part… — Kirti Kulhari Copy Share Image
“Yes, but none of them can steal my ship. None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
I think that Americans find the Australian humour and the energy of Australians very refreshing - we are quite self-deprecating, we're light-hearted… — Teresa Palmer Copy Share Image
“Where is Richard, do you know?" "Chopping onions on the back step. Oh, you mean Master Richard? Upstairs. Eating. Where's anybody?” — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
“Bonjour, the Embassy of France' 'Ah, bonjour, excuse me for asking but where is the French Coastguard?' 'At the coast. Guarding.” — Tim Fitzhigham Copy Share Image
“I was lured into a navvy's cottage tonight!" - Dear Popsy: Collected Postcards of a Private Schoolboy to his Father.” — Eric Bishop-Potter Copy Share Image
“Here am I, sweating my brains out to introduce a really sensational incident into your dull and disreputable little police investigation, and… — Dorothy L. Sayers Copy Share Image
I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is… — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
“I knew that I was talented. I was positive about that. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was talented at, but I… — Sara Sheridan Copy Share Image
