You can't laugh last if I stab you in the throat with the knife you left in my back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Without humor, life is boring. Without love, life is hopeless. Without God, life is impossible. — Carissa Aydaa Copy Share Image
The ladies of comedy now are comfortable dressing up. It's not forbidden anymore. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
If we do not know what humor is, that may be because we do not know what humankind is. — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
I used to write bits and pieces of comedy material for various comics that were at the Windmill... as well as my… — Val Guest Copy Share Image
Standup is a place where, as long as it's funny enough, you can say your most embarrassing things, shameful things and disappointing… — Sara Pascoe Copy Share Image
There are a few activities which are immensely valuable: laughter is one of these activities. Singing, dancing, are also of the same… — Rajneesh Copy Share Image
I'm sort of known in the comedy community as 'Smooth Sailing,' just 'cause everything always goes great. I've always had success at… — Jon Glaser Copy Share Image
It's a no-win situation with politics; it's always going to be stressful. I'm more into the comedy of life. — Jordan Peele Copy Share Image
I said it jokingly, so this guy was just trying to stir something up that's not there. He's just somebody who doesn't… — Shaquille O'Neal Copy Share Image
I don't have an agenda where I do a comedy and say, 'I have to do a drama next,' or 'I am… — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
You have to have energy at hour 13, at hour 14, at hour 15 - comedy cannot be tired, cannot be lazy.… — Michael Ealy Copy Share Image
When I was a little girl, the only real form of entertainment I was exposed to was theater, being raised in St.… — Kelly Stables Copy Share Image
“The verdict of this court is that the accused are guilty of witchcraft. The maximum penalty the law allows is to be… — Richard Curtis Copy Share Image
I'm a standup comedian who can't drive. I have never learned. I don't trust my hand-eye coordination. You're looking at someone who… — Nish Kumar Copy Share Image
“I found a really good Brussel sprouts recipe on Instagram. It's really good. It's easy. Take the Brussel sprouts, cut them in… — Tim Hawkins Copy Share Image
Homophobia is a tough one. In some places it's actually very OK to be homophobic. Comedy clubs in general are very unsafe… — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
“...if you think the worst you'll get the worst, but if you think the best..." "and then everything will blow up in… — Brad Meltzer Copy Share Image
By the time I got to the point where I was 'starring' in movies, and I had executives telling me what lines… — Rick Moranis Copy Share Image
I think I would call Night Music a romantic comedy. I don't know if you are familiar with an old movie called… — Boti Bliss Copy Share Image
It would be really hard to get serious about anything political today unless it was a joke. — Carla Bley Copy Share Image
Each week, we might write 500 jokes for 'Weekend Update,' and ultimately, we can only do about 10. — Colin Jost Copy Share Image
Stand-up's a lottery - you think it's funny but the audience can disagree. — Lenny Henry Copy Share Image
They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me. — Ashleigh Brilliant Copy Share Image
I know from doing stand-up, I don't want to do a joke that I don't trust. — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
I'm fascinated by the similarities and differences between comedians and magicians. — David Copperfield Copy Share Image
When I write 'Beetle Bailey,' I can always do jokes about him being lazy, and everyone gets it. — Mort Walker Copy Share Image
The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor. — Candace Bushnell Copy Share Image
