Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Its really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, I usually dont like female comedians,… — Chelsea Peretti Copy Share Image
I'd like to think I'm a little more memorable or specific now. People laugh at me in a way they wouldn't laugh… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I'm doing television, I don't have time to… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The most hardcore, edgiest comedian in the world has no desire to hurt people and make people have a bad evening. Everybody… — Moshe Kasher Copy Share Image
I am primarily a comedian. Sometimes I also do comedy about my cats. Now unless you find metaphors in cats, there is… — Varun Grover Copy Share Image
I know that if any other comedian came up to me questioning something I did or said, it would be literally settled… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Kidney disease is a low-profile, unglamorous problem, a disease that disproportionately strikes minorities and the poor. Its celebrity spokesman is blue-collar comedian… — Virginia Postrel Copy Share Image
A lot of comics claimed to be political comedians when George W. Bush was in office just by calling him an idiot.… — W. Kamau Bell Copy Share Image
I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
When I used to work the road, I remember I used to ask myself in the mirror, literally, like in a movie,… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Of the many qualities I adore about Melissa McCarthy as a comedian and as a dramatic actor, the best is how fully… — Lisa Schwarzbaum Copy Share Image
The intention is to make people laugh, to make people happy. It's unselfish, it's in the service of others, and as a… — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I remember 9/11; we had 'Comics Come Home' about a month after those events. That night, even the comedians were concerned. Would… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian… — Robert Webb Copy Share Image
“Do not ridicule my effort. Everybody likes a comedian’s company. That’s why they give them tips after watching the show, not their… — Ravindra Shukla Copy Share Image
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire,… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I admire Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet. I like a lot of comedians. I like Cameron Diaz - she's funny and has… — Catherine Deneuve Copy Share Image
Comedy is something that I'm definitely looking to get into. I had a little taste of it and I do intend on… — Ashley Greene Copy Share Image
Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I think there is a weird loneliness that comes with being a comedian. There is something definitely inside the personality of a… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson,… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all.… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
The really good stand up comedians can be angry but relatable, and they have interestingly humanizing personalities. Their observational skills are far… — Kunal Nayyar Copy Share Image
It seems that a lot of people, who haven't known of me as a pianist, think I've just started off as a… — Dudley Moore Copy Share Image
Growing up as a comedian the most influential person on me was Jon Stewart. He showed that comedy could have a real… — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
'The Walking Dead' was my favorite show before I even auditioned for it. That's every actor's dream, to be on a show… — Josh McDermitt Copy Share Image
I never really thought of myself as a physical comedian. But when I was a kid, I used to, you know, pretend… — Matthew Perry Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a comedian, I wanted people to laugh at what I was saying, not to be staring at my… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
