Audience Quote by Tim Allen

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

— Tim Allen

Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of "Yeah, we might have to reboot."

— Tim Allen

If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it.

— Tim Allen

My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and…

— Tim Allen

A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't…

— Tim Allen

Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.

— Tim Allen

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children.…

— Tim Allen

Speeding is like drugs. It makes everything come at you fast, and when you go back to normal driving, safe driving, prudent driving, it…

— Tim Allen

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him…

— Tim Allen

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

— Tim Allen

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.

— Tim Allen

My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.

— Tim Allen