I'm sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults. — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you've made, let's be fair, that means you've got to congratulate yourself for… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
Men aren't allowed to have self-esteem, because we're already supposed to have all the power… But most men earn less than they… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
The world is your oyster when you are successful. That was when I was getting scripts. I was planning for this. I… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of "Yeah, we might have to reboot." — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad's car. I don't blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don't… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog. — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children.… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
Speeding is like drugs. It makes everything come at you fast, and when you go back to normal driving, safe driving, prudent driving, it… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise. — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation. — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
