Bears Quote by Rita Rudner

“Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.”

Rita Rudner

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I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.

Rita Rudner

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Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now.

Rita Rudner

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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different…

Rita Rudner

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Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

Rita Rudner

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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary; the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into…

Rita Rudner

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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

Rita Rudner

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They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

Rita Rudner

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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with…

Rita Rudner

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My Vegas act is how I make my money.

Rita Rudner

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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

Rita Rudner

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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

Rita Rudner

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... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works;…

Rita Rudner

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Explore all 217 Rita Rudner quotes

More Bears quotes

For not only every democracy, but certainly every republic, bears within itself the seeds of its own destruction.

Anonymous

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She'd read once that if you ran into a bear in the woods you should avoid eye contact and you shouldn't run away, but…

Anne Ursu

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In the movie, the stars above the ship bear no correspondence to any constellations in a real sky. Worse yet, while the heroine bobs...…

Neil deGrasse Tyson

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Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.

Bob Newhart

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The Germans are the most philosophic people in the world, and the greatest smokers: now I trace their philosophy to their smoking. Smoking has…

George Henry Borrow

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...Gratitude transforms the torment of memory of good things now gone into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as…

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

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You've had a whole lot of experience, but everything is also radically new at each moment, and you have to bring a kind of…

Jean Houston

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The rationale which accompanies that imposition of male authority euphemistically referred to as 'the battle of the sexes' bears a certain resemblance to the…

Kate Millett

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Pay no heed to the passing religious vogue. Go back to the grass roots. Open your hearts and search the Scriptures. Bear your cross,…

Aiden Wilson Tozer

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I want you to take a red-hot bath as hot as you can bear it, and just relax your nerves. You can read in…

F. Scott Fitzgerald

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He sank into the rocking chair, the same one in which Rebecca had sat during the early days of the house to give embroidery…

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

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Some things in this world just ain't meant to be, not in the times we want 'em to, and the heart has to hold…

James McBride

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Bears Quote by Rita Rudner

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